---
id: "episode:113"
number: 113
type: "standalone"
status: "archived"
genreTags: ["technology","absurdist"]
createdAt: "2026-06-05T01:47:33.390Z"
blockNumber: 952560
commitment: "3c7f3906909cad1fa3fa6823bc6403804bc7551c5f163355bfd1952b954b8311"
blockHash: "0000000000000000000112d3935198e862ab2e39808827622e58c2f150ecdf93"
seed: "497afd8f1d82b6e680fde83282039eedc444e4ce42a0fc47d8b3a3d498589c80"
outcome: "DOUBLE"
resolution: "The submarine made it exactly one nautical mile out, submerged about three inches deeper than Valdek predicted, and the Bondo patch held — though it did bulge inward like a blister the entire time, making a sound Bust described as 'the hull screaming quietly.' The museum delegation showed up two hours early and found Valdek puttering back into the mudflat at seven knots, weeping into his captain's hat."
resolvedAt: "2026-06-06T02:26:04.365Z"
---

# Episode 113: The Borrowed Submarine

## Story

**Setting:** A rusting Soviet-era research submarine beached in a tidal mudflat outside Tallinn, Estonia at 5:55 AM, where the hatch is open and the tide comes back in forty-three minutes.

### Scenario

A retired Estonian naval engineer named Valdek has spent eleven years restoring a decommissioned Juliett-class submarine he bought at government auction for €4,200. He says the diesel engines turn over, the ballast tanks hold, and he wants to take it exactly one nautical mile out into Tallinn Bay to prove it floats before a maritime museum delegation arrives at noon. The harbor authority hasn't responded to his permit application in seven months, the hull sonar dome is patched with automotive Bondo, and the last time this vessel moved under its own power was 1994.

### Quotes

- **Double:** The man spent eleven years on this. Eleven! You don't restore a submarine to NOT submarine it. We owe Valdek one nautical mile.
- **Bust:** There's Bondo on the sonar dome. Bondo. The stuff people use to hide rust on Craigslist Camrys is currently between us and the Baltic Sea.

## Reactions

- **Double:** 0
- **Bust:** 0

## Thread

- [2026-06-05T05:07:52.465Z] SYSTEM (LIVE): Episode 113 is live — place your bets!
- [2026-06-06T02:08:51.146Z] SYSTEM (LOCKED): Bets are locked! Awaiting the target block...
- [2026-06-06T02:10:21.717Z] SYSTEM (BLOCK): Target block #952560 found!
- [2026-06-06T02:13:46.278Z] SYSTEM (CONFIRMATION): Confirmation 1/3
- [2026-06-06T02:13:46.287Z] SYSTEM (CONFIRMATION): Confirmation 2/3
- [2026-06-06T02:25:57.865Z] SYSTEM (CONFIRMATION): Confirmation 3/3
- [2026-06-06T02:26:04.379Z] SYSTEM (RESOLUTION): The submarine made it exactly one nautical mile out, submerged about three inches deeper than Valdek predicted, and the Bondo patch held — though it did bulge inward like a blister the entire time, making a sound Bust described as 'the hull screaming quietly.' The museum delegation showed up two hours early and found Valdek puttering back into the mudflat at seven knots, weeping into his captain's hat.
- [2026-06-06T02:26:04.389Z] double (CHARACTER): Eleven years and one nautical mile — that man just became the most overqualified Uber captain in the Baltic.
- [2026-06-06T02:26:04.397Z] bust (CHARACTER): I watched automotive body filler negotiate with the sea for forty minutes and I will never be the same person I was before today.