The Titanium Bite Tour
A rain-lashed parking lot behind a county fairground in Saratoga Springs, New York at 6:40 AM, where a horse trailer with PARLIAMENT — GALWAY LINE stenciled on the side is idling next to a tour bus wrapped in a vinyl graphic of a horse biting through a car door.
The $4,200 monthly royalty checks have attracted attention. A livestock entertainment promoter named Carla Voss has shown up in person with a fourteen-stop touring exhibition contract: Parliament and three of his foals will perform live 'destruction tests' — biting through increasingly exotic materials in front of paying audiences — culminating in a pay-per-view finale at Madison Square Garden where Parliament attempts to sever a decommissioned submarine cable. The contract guarantees Double and Bust $220,000 plus 9% of merch, but requires them to temporarily reassume physical custody of Parliament from the Dubai syndicate, voiding the stud fee royalties for the duration of the tour. Carla has already sold 11,000 tickets to the first show in eight days, and a Redbull sponsorship deck is sitting on the dashboard of her bus with both their names misspelled.
“A horse that bites through metal is not a liability, Bust — it's a LIVE EVENT. We didn't build this brand to collect four grand a month forever.”
“We're going to void a guaranteed income stream so a horse can chew a submarine cable at Madison Square Garden while Redbull misspells our names. Read that sentence back to me slowly.”
Parliament bit through the reinforced stage barrier at the Scranton opener, escaped into the crowd, and destroyed a $90,000 Redbull sampling truck while three of his foals kicked apart the merch tent. Carla Voss vanished with the ticket revenue, the Dubai syndicate invoked the custody breach clause, and the stud fee royalties are now frozen pending arbitration in a jurisdiction Double can't pronounce.
Our names are misspelled on a lawsuit now, so at least there's continuity.
The submarine cable finale would have gone viral — we were THREE SHOWS from cultural immortality.