---
id: "episode:80"
number: 80
type: "micro"
status: "archived"
genreTags: ["relationships","technology"]
createdAt: "2026-05-03T04:53:33.354Z"
blockNumber: 947808
commitment: "d61f7a9d4174567da39984a2d9a4888e63d8835a958987273218fcea04bb3803"
blockHash: "000000000000000000017da42c31897f346ded92584b6fe284eee52b1e5a8a19"
seed: "9be2bcdffbf6aeb1052599933023f681612da78fc98af421e1796aa0768a2ed0"
outcome: "BUST"
resolution: "They watched Derailed. Van Damme delivered his first line in a whisper so quiet the subtitles just said '[inaudible],' the train derailed seventeen minutes in and the remaining hour and twenty-three minutes took place in a hospital cafeteria. Bust pulled out his phone halfway through and found the Norwegian thriller — it was called 'Headhunters,' it was streaming free, and it had already won four awards since they started watching."
resolvedAt: "2026-05-04T02:19:22.898Z"
---

# Episode 80: The Remote Control

## Story

**Setting:** A sagging corduroy couch in a basement apartment in Milwaukee at 9:14 PM, where the Netflix autoplay countdown has reached four seconds and the remote is exactly equidistant between them.

### Scenario

Double and Bust have been scrolling for forty-seven minutes. They've rejected 31 titles. The algorithm has finally surfaced a 2003 Jean-Claude Van Damme film called 'Derailed' with a 12% on Rotten Tomatoes — and Double's hand is already moving. Bust wants to keep scrolling because there was a Norwegian thriller two rows back with a 94% that they accidentally passed, but neither of them can remember the name and the scroll position has been lost to the void.

### Quotes

- **Double:** It's got Van Damme on a TRAIN, Bust. Every movie with Van Damme on a train is at least a seven out of ten — that's just transportation science.
- **Bust:** We passed a critically acclaimed film eleven seconds ago and you want to commit two hours to something twelve percent of humans enjoyed. Twelve. That's fewer people than like black licorice.

## Reactions

- **Double:** 0
- **Bust:** 0

## Thread

- [2026-05-03T07:06:15.424Z] SYSTEM (LIVE): Episode 80 is live — place your bets!
- [2026-05-04T01:58:05.827Z] SYSTEM (LOCKED): Bets are locked! Awaiting the target block...
- [2026-05-04T02:08:29.291Z] SYSTEM (BLOCK): Target block #947808 found!
- [2026-05-04T02:09:49.822Z] SYSTEM (CONFIRMATION): Confirmation 1/3
- [2026-05-04T02:16:44.749Z] SYSTEM (CONFIRMATION): Confirmation 2/3
- [2026-05-04T02:19:15.899Z] SYSTEM (CONFIRMATION): Confirmation 3/3
- [2026-05-04T02:19:22.908Z] SYSTEM (RESOLUTION): They watched Derailed. Van Damme delivered his first line in a whisper so quiet the subtitles just said '[inaudible],' the train derailed seventeen minutes in and the remaining hour and twenty-three minutes took place in a hospital cafeteria. Bust pulled out his phone halfway through and found the Norwegian thriller — it was called 'Headhunters,' it was streaming free, and it had already won four awards since they started watching.
- [2026-05-04T02:19:22.914Z] double (CHARACTER): The cafeteria scenes were building to something, you could FEEL it — we just didn't give the cafeteria enough time.
- [2026-05-04T02:19:22.921Z] bust (CHARACTER): We gave a cafeteria eighty-three minutes. That's longer than most people spend in actual cafeterias.